But I don't WANT to quit smoking

I can't believe I quit smoking. I didn't want to quit. I wanted to want to quit. I wished I wanted to quit. One day I just couldn't keep doing it any more. It's the weirdest thing: I can't bring myself to smoke even though I really really want to. Sometimes I get this strong urge to have a cigarette. STRONG. Know what I mean? Ever been addicted? That book (Easy Way to Stop Smoking) is spooky. I didn't even finish it. I knew there was something strange because I was only about a third of the way through it and I wasn't wanting to smoke very much. We took a trip to Portland and stayed in a hotel that didn't have any smoking rooms left and we had a non-smoking rental car. When I made the arrangements I was pissed -- I couldn't figure out how I was going to enjoy the trip. Once we got there (and I had read more of the book), it was no problem. It's just too weird. I don't understand it. I want to know what happened, how it works. How could I be a smoker one day, with no intention of quitting, and then wake up the next day and say "I'm not smoking ever again?" What is that?


LeLo in NoPo said...

For me, I quit smoking by leaving Portland and visiting California. The familiar triggers and places to smoke were gone, so I simply didn't, and we both know the first few days are the hardest. After not smoking for a week, I didn't want to go back to smoking. Even when I returned to Oregon, though I would have an urge every once in a while for years.
I suppose Portland/California must have a reciprocal quit smoking exchange we both participated in and didn't realize. :) Congratulations and welcome to becoming a non-smoker. You smell much, much better.

Cathy Mullins said...

thanks! i look forward to not smoking in portland -- perhaps even with you.